As a Toronto personal manifestation coach, I know that manifesting is something that’s constantly happening, whether you know it or not.
You can take control of this process and use it to manifest the life of your dreams, but if not, you’ll end up vulnerable to the whims of your mind, which can go in any direction.
If you’ve built a practice to manifest the life of your dreams, you’ve probably incorporated a number of different manifestation techniques.
Vision boards, meditating, journaling, Mindfulness, affirmations, and more are all great manifestation tools.
But if you feel like you’re no closer to your dreams than you were before you began, what gives?
Does it mean manifestation doesn’t work?
No, manifestation absolutely works.
But it might be that you’re repelling the life of your dreams, rather than attracting it.
As you can see by the title, this is the second in a two part series.
RELATED: Are You Manifesting Your Dream Life Or Repelling It? Part 1
Last time, we talked about two of the more common traps we can fall into that can lead you to repel the life of your dreams – focusing on your mistakes, and desperation.
But there’s more to it than that.
Let’s take a look at some of the other ways you might be repelling the life of your dreams without realizing it.
Making Self Deprecating Jokes
Not one of us is perfect – what does perfection even mean, anyway? – so we’re all going to mess up sometimes.
It’s part of being human.
In some situations, it can be helpful to learn to laugh about your mistakes.
Have you ever put your coffee on the roof of your car as you opened the door to get in, only to realize halfway to your destination that you left it on the roof?
Or started folding your laundry out of the dryer, only to find you accidentally put your TV remote through as well didn’t empty out the pockets?
Or ordered a new outfit online, only to find out when it arrived that it was made for a doll instead of for a human?
It’s fun to laugh silly things like that off, either by yourself or with others.
It can make you more likeable and approachable – a sign that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
But self deprecating jokes can go too far.
They can make it difficult for you to accept the good things others say about you.
They can become your default response to situations, even when you’re by yourself.
In a way, they can become affirmations of their own.
But here’s the thing with affirmations.
They’re not necessarily helpful.
Just like we’re manifesting constantly, whether or not we recognize it, we also create affirmations for ourselves in the same way.
If you’re mindful of the affirmations you set for yourself, they can be powerful tools for manifesting the life of your dreams.
But if not, you may end up adopting whatever affirmations come to mind – even the self deprecating ones.
RELATED: What Are Affirmations, And How To Create Your Own
If you find you frequently make self deprecating jokes, consider why you’re making them in the first place.
Are you using them to mask the negative thought patterns coming up?
Is there emotional baggage, a scarcity mindset, or other limiting beliefs lying beneath?
If so, it might be time to reconsider how these self deprecating jokes are serving you.
Setting Unbelievable Standards For Yourself
Having high standards for yourself can be a useful motivational tool.
I’m all for dreaming big.
I’ve also seen people who accomplished things others said were impossible.
While doing confident mindset coaching, I’ve seen people break out of negative thought patterns they once considered impossible.
In my healthy lifestyle manifestation coach practice, I’ve seen people attain levels of health their doctors told them were unrealistic.
And if you’ve had a difficult relationship history, you might be surprised when your dating and relationship coach helps you manifest the relationship of your dreams.
The further away the life of your dreams feels, the bigger your goals will have to be to get there.
But you have to believe these big goals are possible.
When you set goals and standards for yourself that you don’t actually believe are possible, you’re dooming yourself to failure.
Dream big, yes, but understand and recognize what you’re actually capable of.
Can you go from being an out of shape couch potato to running a marathon? Absolutely.
But can you do so overnight? Not without hurting yourself.
Can you learn another language? Sure you can.
Can you do so in a week? Probably not.
Sure, there are people who’ve accomplished great things.
You can be one of them.
But if you consistently set, and fall short of, the standards you set for yourself, all the affirmations in the world won’t help.
What’s more, you may end up feeling bored and disillusioned, detached from your dream life even more.
Instead, it’s important to set goals you actually believe, regardless of how big they are.
If you hold the belief that your goals are unrealistic as a core belief, they become a “want” or a “desire” as opposed to something you’re manifesting.
They become a thing you wish you had, instead of a thing you’re manifesting.
At that point, you begin to repel them because so much of your being is focused on what you believe you can’t have.
On the other hand, if you believe you can have it, meditate on it, and imagine how you’ll feel when you have it, you can bring it into your reality.
Set big goals – as big as you can imagine!
But don’t forget the most important ingredient – you have to believe you can achieve them.
Allowing Yourself To Be Controlled By Guilt
Guilt is a complicated feeling.
We usually associate the word with bad things happening.
We find the defendant guilty as charged is never something anybody wants to hear said about them, after all.
But guilt can be a positive force as well.
The other day, I’d just gotten a coffee and was walking to my car, when I accidentally spilled some on the hood of the car parked beside me.
So I grabbed a cloth out of my car, and cleaned it off – no harm, no foul.
Why did I do that? Because I felt guilty I’d made a mess on someone else’s stuff.
That’s good, right?
But that’s situational guilt – I made a mistake, and the feeling of guilt pushed me to correct that mistake.
When guilt becomes a more generalized feeling, it becomes toxic.
It becomes less about what happened, and more about what you are in general.
During your manifestation practice, you may end up feeling guilty for even having a “life of your dreams” that you want to manifest.
Guilt swirling around your manifestation practice can stand in your way.
But it doesn’t have to.
Take the time to consider where your feelings of guilt may have come from.
Did you grow up with guilt tripping parents?
Have you inherited some intergenerational trauma?
If so, these are just two possible sources of guilt.
Take the time to meditate on the source of your guilt.
Ask yourself questions like:
- What triggered this guilty feeling? Is it related to a specific situation?
- Do I feel guilty in similar situations?
- What about this situation is making me feel guilty?
- Is another person making me feel guilty? And if so, do they seem to be doing it on purpose?
- Can I rectify this situation?
- If I do rectify the situation, will my guilt go away?
These can help you better understand why these feelings are coming up, and how you can move past them.
Book Your Appointment With Evelina Hovich Today
Manifesting the life of your dreams is a beautiful process.
But if you’re feeling like it’s just not clicking for you, it can lead to frustration.
It can make you believe this stuff just doesn’t work.
But it does – I’ve seen it happen time and time again.
In nature there’s no such thing as stasis.
A tree is never “done” – it’s growing, or it’s dying.
There is no in between.
Imagine what could be.
Imagine a life of limitless mental, emotional, spiritual growth.
Imagine an inner awakening of self actualization.
Imagine the life of your dreams.
It’s thereavailable to you for you.
I can help you get there, faster.