Not one of us will ever make it through life without being wronged by another.
One of the realities of being social creatures is the fact that transgressions are part of the package.
Even when we do our best, it’s incredibly difficult to always avoid hurting others.
At the same time, others may end up hurting us as well.
And when they do, it can be hard to forgive.
As a life coach in Toronto, I work with people on a wide range of different concerns, but a frequent thread that comes up is the idea of forgiveness.
In some cases, forgiveness is simple – you bump someone as they walk by, you say sorry, and you both move on with your lives.
But what happens when the transgression is more complex?
The Importance Of Forgiveness
When somebody hurts us deeply, we can end up carrying that hurt with us.
It can manifest itself in many different ways.
Pain – from the idea that somebody who was important to you had done something so hurtful.
Anger – at them, for doing such a thing, and at yourself, for allowing it to happen.
Sadness – that someone you thought so highly of turned out to be so hurtful.
Fear – that letting others get close to you again might result in the same thing.
And much more.
We carry these emotions with us.
They weigh us down.
They interfere with our ability to manifest healthy relationships.
They poison your mindset with negative influence on every aspect of our lives.
But they don’t have to.
Here are five reasons why forgiveness is not only healthy, but necessary for manifesting the life of your dreams.
1. It Takes You Out Of Victimhood
When you dwell on how somebody harmed you, you put yourself in a state of victimhood.
You spend your mental energy on how you were wronged.
You can’t change what happened, but dwelling on it can only hold you in the past.
By forgiving someone for their transgressions, you break the hold they have over you.
It doesn’t mean you need to forget what they did, and it doesn’t mean you should let your guard down around them.
But forgiveness means letting go of living in that state of victimhood.
2. It Creates Space For You To Forgive Yourself
Often, when we’re faced with situations of overlapping feelings, it can be difficult to pick apart what’s actually causing those feelings.
The anger, sadness, fear, and pain you feel may partially be rooted in your feelings toward the person who hurt you.
But some of it may as well be rooted in feelings toward yourself for having allowed it to happen in the first place.
Beginning the process of forgiveness allows you to create a space where you can begin to explore those feelings and their root causes.
As you forgive the person who hurt you, you may find it easier to forgive yourself.
3. It’s Actually Good For Your Health
Forgiveness is not just good for your mental health, but physical as well.
According to an article from Johns Hopkins Medicine, being hurt and disappointed can leave you with a tremendous physical burden.
The science tells us it results in measurable changes to your heart rate, blood pressure, and immune system.
These changes put you at greater risk for diabetes, heart disease, depression, and more.
When you forgive, on the other hand, you let go of the physical burden, reduce anxiety, and manifest a healthier lifestyle.
The Art Of Forgiveness – Ho’oponopono
Okay, so now we understand the importance of forgiveness.
That’s all well and good, but how do we do it?
That’s where ho’oponopono comes in.
Ho’oponopono (here’s how it’s pronounced) is a concept that comes to us from Hawaii.
The word translates roughly as “to make things right,” and it can be a powerful tool for regaining a sense of congruency with ourselves and those around us.
The ho’oponopono prayer is as simple and straightforward as it is beautiful.
“I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”
The first time I heard these powerful words, it moved me to tears.
As touching as it is, though, how can it help?
It works as a path toward reconciliation, where possible.
But it also works as a way to restore balance within ourselves.
Chanting this mantra repeatedly can help you to eliminate the feelings associated with having been wronged.
To begin with I’m sorry is to begin by acknowledging that harm was done.
We all need to have others acknowledge our feelings and our experiences.
By extending that courtesy to the other, you create a space where acknowledgment can be reciprocated.
And then you end with love.
Love for the person who wronged you, love for yourself, and love for others.
Ho’oponopono allows you to sit with your feelings.
It allows you to acknowledge the problem.
And then, it allows you to consciously move on.
This might not happen immediately, especially for particularly hurtful betrayals.
But some breathwork and mindfulness meditation practice along with ho’oponopono can be a powerful step in the direction of healing and creating a new reality for yourself.
You can start manifesting the life of your dreams right now
Book Your Appointment With Evelina Hovich Today
Is forgiveness a difficult concept for you?
Would you like to move on from past hurts and start building toward a brighter future?
I’m Evelina Hovich, and I can help.