Self love.
Does it sound cliche?
Self centred?
Self indulgent?
If that’s your first reaction, you’re not alone.
Self love is about taking care of yourself, but making sure to be considerate to the people around you as well.
But this isn’t the only thing that can hold you back from practicing self love.
In fact, when it comes to the practice of manifesting the life of your dreams, learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do.
I’m Evelina Hovich, a manifestation life coach, and I believe you can truly have everything you’ve ever wanted in life.
I offer a number of different life coaching services, including:
- Toronto dating and relationship coaching
- Healthy lifestyle coaching near me
- Confident mindset shift coaching in Toronto
- Manifesting abundance life coaching
And with each of these, I’ve seen amazing things happen.
I’ve seen people break free of scarcity, live in a mindset of abundance, and embrace the life they’ve always dreamed of.
And self-love is in the centre of this change.
After all, what part of your life do you have the greatest control over?
Yourself.
Let’s talk about self love.
Why Is Self Love So Important?
It’s great to be loved, isn’t it?
Love from your parents, love from your children, love from your romantic partner, or love from your best friend – it doesn’t matter.
Love is love, and it’s all great.
But why is self love in particular so important?
I could talk about how it helps you build a better relationship with yourself.
How it helps you to stop sacrificing your own dreams by people pleasing.
How it makes you more resistant to guilt tripping and helps you set healthy boundaries.
How it encourages you to break unhealthy habits.
How it helps you build resilience so you’re better able to handle life’s inherent uncertainties.
All of this is true.
All of this alone is worth the price of admission.
But to really understand the benefits of self love, we have to consider it by another name – self esteem.
And it turns out there’s some scientific research backing it up.
A 2016 review in the journal Psychology took a look at how psychological issues affect people with high self esteem.
They found that people with higher self esteem tended to be more satisfied with their lives, had fewer arguments with the people around them, and were less susceptible to anxiety and depression than those with lower self esteem.
But what’s really interesting is that people with high self esteem were actually less susceptible to physical illnesses too!
Another study, this one from 2019 in the Journal of Eating Disorders, took a look at treatment approaches for women with eating disorders.
It found that having a positive self image was almost as important as actual medical treatment in terms of predicting outcomes.
One more – a 2022 study in the Journal Of Genetic Psychology found that preteens with higher self esteem were more likely to demonstrate altruism and compassion, and to be more sociable.
Self love, self esteem, self compassion – whatever you want to call it, it has some huge benefits.
But how do you practice self love?
Let’s take a look.
1. Avoid “Comparisonitis”
In the right setting, competition can be beneficial.
If you’re an athlete, for example, you might compare your performance to another athlete you know in the same sport.
Comparing yourself to others can be a great way for you to improve yourself.
But it can only go so far.
When you spend too much time focusing on what others are doing, it can hold you back.
It can cause you to focus on all the different ways it seems like others are doing better than you.
This has always been an issue, but it’s become a far greater problem in the age of social media.
This can hold you back.
Instead, remember that you have your own life to live.
You have your own dreams, your own desires, and your own plans.
You have your insecurities, of course, but so does the person whose highly curated feed you admire on Instagram.
You just don’t see it.
Are they as fulfilled as it seems, or are they constantly having a mental breakdown when they’re off camera?
You have no idea.
Focus on your own dreams, and your own journey.
The only person you should compete with is the person you were yesterday – Dr. Prem Jagyasi
2. Protect Your Energy From Toxicity
What is toxicity?
When talking about interpersonal relationships, toxic people are people who bring more negativity than positivity to your life.
If this is the case, you might feel a certain obligation to that person, especially if you’re an empathic person yourself.
If you have a history of being a rescuer or helper, you might feel like you need to take care of the people around you.
And in some ways, this is an admirable trait.
It can help you be a better parent, friend, and lover.
But this can only go so far.
You are not responsible for rescuing others from their struggles.
Once more for the people in the back.
You are not responsible for rescuing others from their struggles.
It’s not your fault that somebody isn’t living the life of their dreams, and it isn’t your problem.
If somebody comes to you for help, and you’re able to do so, by all means you can offer help.
But it’s also important to set hard boundaries with people who bring more negativity than positivity in your life.
In some cases, you may feel the need to step away from a toxic person altogether.
When you distance yourself from negative influences in your life, you’re telling the universe that you’re manifesting something greater.
Of course, there’s nuance here, and it’s not going to be helpful to cut anybody out of your life when they show any signs of negativity – that’s toxic positivity,.
Everyone you know is going to deal with difficult periods, including you.
But there has to be balance.
If someone seems like they’re bringing more negativity than anything else to your life, stepping away from them can be a powerful form of self love.
3. Allow Yourself To Fail
Everybody makes mistakes.
But it can be easy to take them to heart.
And that’s because from a very young age, we’re taught that failure is a bad thing.
Think back to grade school, when you got back a math test your teacher marked.
Your grade is 19/20 – that’s 95% correct.
But what did you focus on? The 19 green checkmarks, or that one big red X?
Do you see your failures as a statement about who you are in general?
Do you fall into a cycle of catastrophizing when you make mistakes?
If so, this type of perfectionism can be a detriment to your growth.
It can hold you back from learning and growing.
Embrace your mistakes not just as a personal failing, but as a way to grow and learn.
I never lose. I either win or I learn – Nelson Mandela
4. Keep A Gratitude Journal
One of the very first articles I wrote when I started this blog is The Benefits Of Starting And Ending Your Day With Mindfulness.
And although it’s been more than a year, I stand by those words today.
Ending your day by spending a few minutes taking stock of everything you’re grateful for can have a profound effect on your mindset.
It moves you away from focusing on the day’s problems and challenges, and toward the good things happening for you.
This can help pull you into an abundance mindset.
And it doesn’t matter how challenging your day was, you can always find things to be grateful for.
Because if you’re breathing, you have things to be grateful for!
5. Write Yourself A Love Letter
These days, we all have at least half a dozen different ways to get in touch with everybody we’ve ever met.
But when was the last time you wrote an actual letter to somebody?
It can be a beautiful practice, a deeply personal expression of gratitude, from one person to another.
But why not write a letter to yourself?
Take some time to write about what you’re grateful for.
The sources of joy, of inspiration, of kindness, of growth.
Reflect on your feelings, and speak to yourself about your struggles as you would your best friend.
Talk about your goals and dreams for the future.
Then, mail it to yourself.
No, not email – I mean print it off and drop it in the mailbox.
It might sound a little silly, but when you get that letter back and open it up, you’ll have a big smile on your face!
Book Your Session With Evelina Hovich Today
To navigate your journey in life is to become one with it.
But on your journey, you’ll come to many different crossroads.
Choosing the path that can bring you the greatest happiness is a powerful act of self love.
But these paths aren’t always obvious.
If you’re feeling stuck, uncertain where to go next, I can help.