What would you say if I told you that life is full of uncertainties?
Probably something along the lines of “yes, obviously”.
As I sit writing this article in early 2022, uncertainty seems to be the name of the game – and it has been for at least a couple of years now.
But even when we aren’t living in these extremely unpredictable times, uncertainty is as much a part of life as anything else.
As the saying goes: “The only constant in life is change”
Change is inevitable, and with it comes a feeling of uncertainty.
The type of work I do as a confidence and mindset life coach often addresses some of the ways that keep us in a stagnant mindset, and how to overcome these challenges and start living the life of your dreams.
Let’s take a look at what causes us to have difficulty with change and uncertainty, and what we can do about it.
The Feelings Behind A Fear Of Uncertainty
Why do we resist change?
Why are we afraid of uncertainty?
Because certainty is, well, certain.
It’s easy, it’s predictable, you know what you’re going to get.
For example, consider your favourite morning drink.
Maybe it’s coffee, tea, a cappuccino, or one of those fancy drinks you get from Starbucks – it doesn’t matter.
Chances are you know exactly how you like it.
And chances are you never order it a different way.
Why not? It’s not like you’ve tried everything on the menu – you might like something else better.
It’s about a sense of control.
When we have familiarity, it helps us feel a greater sense of control and stability in our lives.
After all, the more primitive side of our brain reasons, things that are unfamiliar might hurt us, but we know things that are familiar will not.
That’s not always true – your favourite meal at your favourite lunch spot might use expired milk in your coffee – but the more primitive side of the brain doesn’t think that way.
So when somebody brings you a coffee with cream and sugar when you usually drink it black, you might feel a sense of anxiety around it.
You might look at the coffee with scepticism, confusion, and you might even start catastrophizing about how terrible it’s going to be for your health and how that will end up ruining your day.
And while cream and sugar will not help you manifest greater health, it’s unlikely to be a catastrophe.
Because it’s not about that particular coffee drink, it’s about the certainty that drink represents.
But interestingly enough, we don’t just crave certainty, we crave uncertainty as well.
The Six Human Needs
The wonderful Tony Robbins speaks about the six human needs that drive every decision we make.
They are:
- Certainty –to help you feel good or avoid feeling bad
- Uncertainty – to give you new stimuli
- Significance – feeling important or needed
- Connection – feeling close with someone or something
- Growth – feeling that we’re evolving
- Contribution – feeling that we’re making a difference
Certainty helps us function in our day to day lives – imagine your morning bathroom routine if you didn’t know where your soap, toothbrush, makeup, or razor was.
But uncertainty helps us to make life more interesting.
Now, some of us crave certainty more than others.
Why?
It could be from having lived a life of extreme uncertainty when you were younger.
Maybe your parents moved around a lot, or you lived in foster care, or you had to flee an abusive situation.
It could be that you have a fear of failure, or a fear of being criticized for failing.
Whatever the reason, that resistance to change is keeping you in a stagnant mindset.
The universe provides such a great wealth of abundant treasures for us, but when we stay in a mindset where we’re resistant to change, we cut ourselves off from such possibilities.
The good news, though, is that such abundance doesn’t disappear just because we’re cut off to it.
The universe’s gifts are there for us, waiting.
We just have to be open and willing to receive them.
By changing our habits and developing a mindset of abundance, we can open ourselves to these great gifts.
1. Accept That Uncertainty Is Certain – And That’s A Good Thing
Life is full of uncertainty – that’s the way it is, it has always been, and will always be so.
And you wouldn’t want it to be otherwise
Why?
It’s the uncertainty of life that grants us with the opportunities to better ourselves, to explore, to cultivate the life of our dreams.
You’d know exactly who you were, and you’d stay that way, for your entire life.
Imagine that?!
Want to manifest a state of greater wellness? Impossible.
Hoping to manifest a joyful and satisfying relationship? Not a chance.
Sick of your career? Too bad.
In such a scenario, growth would be impossible.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds incredibly stifling to me.
Instead, because we live in an uncertain world, it gives us access to greater possibilities in our lives.
Resistance toward change is one of the reasons we feel stuck, and releasing that resistance is one of the greatest ways to manifest the life of your dreams.
2. Let Go Of Your Need To Control
We’ve talked about how to let go of your need to control everything in your life before, but it bears repeating.
The need to control is based in the same emotional space as resistance toward uncertainty.
There are things in life that you can’t control.
In fact, that’s most things.
In particular, you can’t control what other people do.
But you don’t need to, and you don’t want to, even if at times you think you do.
The process of manifesting your dream life has nothing to do with controlling what happens around us.
In fact, by surrendering control, we open ourselves up to greater possibilities than we ever did before.
As you continue working toward manifesting your dream life, you’ll find that your need to control actually ends up becoming a hindrance, rather than a help.
You don’t know and cannot possibly imagine all the incredible gifts the universe has in store for you.
But by letting go of your need to control everything in your life, you’ll find yourself less resistant to the uncertainty life brings your way.
And you can start trusting more, and flow more with the current life offers.
And that will leave you more open to accepting the gifts the universe has to offer.
3. Be Mindful Of Your Thoughts
A study from Dr. Jordan Poppenk at Queen’s University in Kingston estimates that the average person has around 6,200 different thoughts per day.
That’s a lot of thoughts.
These thoughts themselves are neither positive nor negative – they just are.
The story we make about the thoughts makes them feel either positive or negative.
When we attach emotional weight to these thoughts, they end up affecting us much more deeply.
Words are powerful, and the way our thoughts coalesce into words can cause us to be fearful of change and uncertainty.
Whether it’s a response you picked up from your parents, your spouse, or your peers, we often react to circumstances in a way that’s almost pre-programmed.
That means if you surround yourself with people who have a growth mindset, you will in turn pick up on that mindset.
On the other hand, if the people around you are fearful of change, you’ll pick up on that too.
By being mindful of our thoughts, we can stop ourselves from spiralling into a place of fear and anxiety about the uncertainty that’s inherent in life.
This is why a daily mindfulness practice is so helpful – it allows you to work through your thoughts and emotions to better understand how they’re affecting you.
By being more mindful of your thoughts, you’ll gain more awareness and can become far more open to the great gifts available for you.
Book Your FREE Connection Call With Evelina Hovich Today
Are you afraid of change?
Is that fear keeping you stuck?
Do you know you’re capable of much more, but you’re having trouble breaking through the barriers holding you back?
I’m Evelina Hovich, a manifestation life coach in Toronto, and I can help.