So you’ve had some challenges in your past relationships.
Through relationship coaching as well as simple self reflection and exploration, you may come to the conclusion that it’s time to end your relationship.
Ending a particularly rocky relationship helps from the perspective of removing yourself from that situation, but it doesn’t actually heal those wounds, it only prevents them from getting worse.
So what’s to be done?
In some cases, we end up carrying our baggage right into the next relationship, repeating the same cycle over again, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Let’s take a closer look.
Why Is Letting Go So Challenging?
Everyone experiences a difficult event at one time or another, no matter how charmed your life may be.
The tricky part though, is that these moments end up having a significant influence on the rest of our lives if we let them.
And that’s not just related to relationships either.
Any sort of mistakes, regrets, perceived failures, or other situations that were traumatic in one way or another end up staying with us if we don’t take the time to work through them.
In extreme cases, these upsetting events can leave us with things like post traumatic stress disorder, but even when they don’t, they can still end up staying with us.
But dwelling on the past, cycling through events that deeply affect us, can actually have significant repercussions on how our brain works.
A 2017 study led by Dr. Caroline Di Bernardi Luft from Queen Mary University in London UK found that when people had a chance to quiet the parts of their brain related to ruminating on past situations, they actually became better at creative problem solving.
Dwelling on the past and overthinking can keep you stuck in the past, stopping you from actually exploring creative solutions to situations.
As we focus on past events and past situations, it keeps us from focusing on the present and future. It ultimately stops us growing and connecting to our highest selves.
It keeps us stuck in our comfort zone, with what’s familiar and what we know.
Because the weird truth is that our comfort zone isn’t even necessarily comfortable – it’s just familiar.
If you’re used to being in a relationship where you’re constantly fighting with your partner or where your partner has unfair expectations of you, that’s your comfort zone.
That doesn’t mean you enjoy it or it feels good, but it feels familiar and predictable.
It keeps you in your status quo.
But your status quo isn’t where you thrive.
It’s not where you expand your mindset and connect to your higher self.
It’s not where you manifest a life of great abundance.
If you don’t learn from your past, in relationships and in other areas, you may find yourself repeating the same mistakes.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Manifesting the life of your dreams is fundamentally incompatible with your status quo, but there are ways to break out of that rut and open up to the beautiful gifts the universe has in store for you.
How To Let Go Of The Past And Manifest The Relationship Of Your Dreams.
1. Take Responsibility For Your Part
After a breakup, emotions can run high and hot.
Chances are, you’ve got a mix of many different emotions, all happening on top of each other.
Early in your breakup, in the middle of such an emotional maelstrom, it can be difficult to have perspective on what happened.
It can lead you down a cycle of catastrophizing, which isn’t helpful either.
But while the emotions you’re feeling may be intense, you’ve gotta feel them, see them, sit with them.
Take as much time as you need to process your emotions instead of rejecting them.
Journaling your way through this period can be a great way to process, organize, and your emotions.
If it helps, consider writing about your breakup as though you were talking to a stranger about it.
Beyond helping you process your emotions, it can also help encourage you to look at what happened from a fresh perspective.
With time, however, as you continue to process your emotions, you may come to the understanding that there truly was nobody to blame.
This is the point of responsibility – radical responsibility – and it can set you free.
What if you chose to believe that you and your ex partner both did the best you could with what you had, but it just didn’t fit.
There are no mistakes, only experiences and lessons.
2. Practice Mindfulness
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.” – Eckhart Tolle
Mindfulness is simply the practice of being in the moment.
Its purpose is to help you focus on what’s happening in the present, not the past or the future.
Aligning with your highest potential and living the life of your dreams isn’t something that happens in the future – it starts now.
By practicing mindfulness, you can develop greater compassion for yourself, which can help you explore the difficult events you faced in the past.
Self love and compassion is a common roadblock to people working to manifest their dream life, and it’s something I run into a lot with clients – whether we’re working on opening up to more abundance, professional growth or even when doing Toronto wellness and lifestyle coaching.
Consider starting and ending your day with a mindfulness practice to help give your mind a break from dwelling on your past.
3. Be Open To Forgiveness
Learning how to forgive can be a process of reconciliation with somebody who hurt you in the past.
But just as often, it can be a process of turning inward and forgiving yourself for your role in what happened.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean somebody’s actions were appropriate or okay – it often means stopping arguing with reality and healing the wounds their actions caused.
Working toward forgiving others, and yourself, can take time.
But in the process of healing and manifesting something greater, it’s an important step.
Book Your FREE Connection Call With Evelina Hovich Today
A life beyond your wildest dreams is not only possible, it’s waiting for you.
God, source, the universe, whatever you want to call it – has great things in store for you.
You need only to align with your dreams and desires and open up to something better.
But here’s the thing – while your past can teach you lessons, your life is happening now. Every moment is an opportunity to create your future.
It’s time to move forward and create a better, more fulfilling relationship.
It’s time to let go of what’s holding you back, and manifest the life of your dreams.
I’m Evelina Hovich, a Toronto manifestation life coach, and I can help.
Book your FREE connection call with me today, and let’s get to work on build the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Book your FREE connection call with me, Evelina Hovich, today.