The perfect life – isn’t that what we’re all pursuing?
Isn’t that what we all want?
Isn’t that what you’re hoping to get when you search for a life coach near me?
On the surface, that might sound great, but the closer you look at the idea the less sense it tends to make.
On this blog, we talk about manifesting the life of your dreams, but what we don’t talk much about manifesting the perfect life, and that’s partially because it’s hard to nail down what “perfect” even means.
What does perfect mean?
Miriam-Webster’s dictionary provides more than twenty different definitions of the word “perfect”, so they’re no help.
But before we take a look at perfection, let’s take a look at why it’s so important to us in the first place.
Why Do We Pursue Perfection?
In the age of social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of perfection.
We all do it – you’ve got a few minutes, maybe while you’re on the streetcar, or in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, and you spend it scrolling your Instagram, your Facebook, even your LinkedIn or YouTube.
And what do you see?
Funny stuff, sure.
Inspiring stuff, of course.
Beautiful stuff, definitely.
Not so much.
It happens, of course, but nowhere near as often as the rest.
On top of that, we have things like the rise of “hustle culture” – a culture that tells us to always strive for more.
More money, more success, more recognition, more power.
And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting more out of life – that’s what manifesting a mindset of abundance is about, after all.
After all, the people you’re admiring seem to have that, right?
Most people you are seeing on social media are portraying a highly curated version of their life.
What you’re seeing is their highlight reel – all their highest moments, and none, or almost none of their lows.
You don’t usually get to see what’s happening behind the scenes.
Their struggles, their moments of self doubt, their frustrations – it’s all hidden on the other end of their phone camera.
Are they frequently find their way down spirals of catastrophizing?
Have they let their need to control everything in their life get the better of them, closing them off to new possibilities?
You’ll never know, because that’s not the type of thing one shares on social media.
We humans sometimes have a habit of comparing ourselves to others, and it doesn’t help much, because we’re not getting the full picture.
I don’t know who you look up to, but I do know that that person doesn’t live a perfect life.
In fact, they never will – and neither will you, or anybody else for that matter.
But that’s not a bad thing.
The Impossibility Of Perfection
You see it in marketing messages all the time.
This is the perfect car for you, this is the perfect bank for you, the perfect camera, the perfect pair of shoes – the list goes on and on.
If just about every company out there wants to sell you something perfect, they must be onto something, right?
But let’s return to what we talked about in the introduction to this article – what does “perfect” mean?
If you’re playing bowling, a perfect game is a game where you score 300 points.
And if you played a perfect round of the original Pac Man game, you reached 3,333,360 points.
But in most cases, perfection isn’t quantifiable, especially when it comes to the world of manifesting your dreams.
What is a perfect life?
How can you define such a thing?
When you think of what a perfect life may look like, maybe you imagine a life where you never experience any hardship, where you never struggle, where your loved ones are happy and healthy and with you forever.
And that’s never going to happen.
Uncertainty is inherent to life.
It’s part of the process.
And that’s a good thing.
Life is about growth – it’s about learning, exploring, being curious, and understanding more about the universe and our place in it.
In fact, an abundance mindset is one where you’re able to continue growing, changing, developing.
If your life were perfect, none of that would be possible.
Consider the examples of perfection we talked about before.
You bowl the perfect game or you play the perfect game of Pac Man – what’s next?
Where can you go, where can you grow?
For some, they attempt to get a perfect score in less and less time – so the idea of perfection itself breaks down there.
If you can get a “better” perfect score, is it even a perfect score?
There’s always more you can do, more you can experience.
But at the same time, life is going to give you setbacks sometimes.
Nobody is granted a life free of pain, fear, and sadness.
Often, we can frame such events in a more positive light in hindsight.
Without your previous relationship ending, you wouldn’t have met your current partner, who feels like a much better match.
If you didn’t lose your last job, you wouldn’t have had the impetus to start your own business and pursue a more satisfying lifestyle.
But sometimes – like the death of a friend, family member, or beloved pet – it just sucks.
Our time in this realm is limited, and eventually we all have to move on to whatever comes next.
The only way to avoid the death of loved ones is to not have any loved ones in the first place, and that sounds a whole lot worse in my mind.
No matter how fortunate, how blessed, how privileged you are, you’re going to experience something painful.
But that doesn’t mean your dream life isn’t possible.
The beauty of the human experience is that we get to experience the whole range of human emotions.
The life of your dreams is not only possible, it’s waiting for you.
Here’s how you can manifest the life of your dreams, as imperfect as it may be.
1. Practice Unconditional Love
For many of us, the root of our pursuit of perfection is a subconscious belief that we won’t be lovable without it.
In some cases, this comes from parents, caregivers, or previous partners who were overbearing, controlling, and overly critical of us.
Unconditional love is the way around this.
Unconditional love is the idea of love offered freely, openly, without exception, regardless of circumstances.
Your friends, your parents, your kids, your coworkers – none are without their flaws.
As you practice this, you’ll find it manifested in your own life as well.
Love begets love, and that’s true of unconditional love as well.
Now, that said, unconditional love isn’t always easy.
In fact, I believe the only truly unconditional love we can actually practice is the type we give to ourselves.
Most of us can think of at least a couple of scenarios where the border of our “unconditional” love might end.
But even if unconditional love for others is difficult – perhaps impossible – strive for it anyway.
We manifest what we put out into the universe, and even if your love for the people you care about is “almost” unconditional, it’s still close enough that you’ll beget a similar type of love back from them.
Imperfect? Maybe. But that’s life, isn’t it?
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars —Les Brown
2. Set SMART Goals
One of the problems with pursuing perfection is the idea that there’s always something more you could do with yourself.
The way our brains are wired makes this a bit of an inevitability.
Sure, you worked hard today, but you could have worked harder.
Sure, you ate healthy today, but you could have eaten healthier.
The way around this is to set SMART goals.
SMART is a goal setting system created by George T Doran back in 1981, and it still holds true today.
SMART goals are goals that are:
- S – specific
- M – measurable
- A – achievable
- R – realistic
- T – timely
“I’m going to work hard today,” for example, is not a SMART goal.
Instead, consider “I’m going to complete x number of (thing you have to do), and then I can take a 20 minute break.”
That’s a specific and measurable goal, for sure.
It’s timely as well.
Be mindful that it’s achievable and realistic, based on your abilities.
That way, even if you didn’t have the perfect day of productivity, you can still feel good at the end of the day that you achieved what you set out to do.
And while goals are different from dreams and desires, they are an essential part in your manifestation journey.
They are a part of the ‘inspired action’ part of the manifestation equation.
3. Allow Yourself To Make Mistakes
Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something – Jake The Dog, Adventure Time
The greatest teacher, failure is – Jedi Master Yoda
In some cases, the pursuit of perfection can come from a fear of failure.
In some ways this is instilled in us from a very young age.
Think back to grade school – you just got your test marked back from your teacher.
There were 20 questions, and you got 19 of them right.
Which one stands out the most to you? The 19 little blue checkmarks, or that one big red X?
We’re taught to view failure as a bad thing, but it doesn’t have to be.
Rather, it’s an opportunity to grow.
Failure can teach us what not to do, and how to react more effectively in the future.
At the very least, failure can show us what we don’t want our life to look like – and that’s a great place to start when it comes to understanding what you want the life of your dreams to look like.
I’m a firm believer that there are no failures, only lessons.
I never lose. Either I win or I learn – Nelson Mandela
Book Your FREE Connection Call With Evelina Hovich Today
The perfect life is impossible, but the life of your dreams isn’t.
Our lives on this plane of existence are nothing short of extraordinary.
We are the universe, we are within the universe, we experience the universe.
The universe wants what you want, because the universe is you.
As you imagine what the life of your dreams looks like, consider the possibilities.
Is it a life where you’ve built a healthy relationship with yourself and those around you?
Is it one where you embrace the uncertainty inherent in life and attract exciting and fulfilling new opportunities?
The path toward manifesting the life of your dreams is before you, but if you’re not sure what direction to take, you’re not alone.
I’m Evelina Hovich, a Toronto manifestation coach, and I’m here to help.
Book your appointment with me today, and take your first step toward manifesting the life of your dreams.
The life you always knew was possible, but you couldn’t quite reach.
The deeply fulfilling, exciting, joyful life we all deserve.
It’s waiting for you. I can help you get there.